Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Don't Open Your Eyes

Today, for WonHundred Word Wednesday, I wrote a story about a little girl told not to open her eyes (read the story here.) But, I was unable to finish the story in just one hundred words. So I decided to take it and flesh it out and make it a full-length story.... 
And I still haven't finished it.
And, honestly, what I've added has probably just made its unfinished status even worse. But I really enjoyed the voice of the story. I only have vague ideas of where it will go next. Perhaps someday I'll continue it. Or perhaps not. If you want to take the gamble and give the story a chance, read on: 

The doctor looks very serious. It makes my insides go all twisty when he looks like that. I kick my feet against the side of the big table-bed they have me on. I want to go home.
Chester looks pale, like maybe he’s going to throw up. I think he should be sitting by the garbage can, but I don’t say anything. Everybody’s too quiet.
“Can I speak to you outside, Mr. Orensio?” asks the doctor.
Chester nods and gets to his feet. They go out in the hall. I know they don’t want me to hear, but they’re talking about me. They’ve spent all day poking me and sticking needles in me and asking me questions about my tummy aches. I want to know what’s going on.
            Jumping off the table, I fall to my Band-Aid-covered knees. Getting up, I go to the door and open it just a crack.
            “She’s terminal,” the doctor says. I don’t know what that word means. But Chester’s face crumples up like a piece of paper. I think he might cry.
            Scared, I close the door quietly and use a chair to get back on the big table.
            They come back in. The doctor looks at Chester for a long time before looking at me.
            “Well, Ellie, you’re good to go. You’ll come back and see me soon, though, won’t you?”
            I shrug my shoulders up and down. The doctor is nice, but I don’t like coming to his white office and being poked.
            Chester comes to me and scuffs my red hair. I smile up at him. A long time ago, I had a mommy and a daddy. Now I just have Chester. He turns his back to me and I grin. I put my arms around his neck, and he pulls my legs around his waist. He carries me out of the hospital like that. The nice ladies at the desk wave to me and I wave back. I’m bigger than everybody on Chester’s back.
            He carries me out to the car and buckles me in. Then he gets in front, but he doesn’t start the car. He stares out the window and takes a lot of breaths.
            “Chester…” I say. My voice sounds little. “Am I gonna die?”
            “No.” Chester turns the key and the car rumbles on.
            I look out the window as we drive out of the parking lot. It’s hot and sunny. We drive under trees and shadows fall in and out of our car. I think about dying.
            Some people say my mommy and daddy died. The man at church told me about heaven. But we didn’t have a funeral like we did when my kitty died. I thought they had funerals for people, too.
            All I know is that one day I woke up and nobody was at my house. I got myself cereal and I watched TV and I played with my toys and I waited a long, long time, but my mommy and daddy didn’t come home.
            Then Chester came. He said he was going to take care of me. I asked him what happened to my mommy and daddy. Everybody else said they died and went to heaven. But Chester said they left. He said they were somewhere far away, but he was going to get them back. People don’t come back from heaven.
            Chester stops at the store.
            “Do we have to get groceries?” I ask. I hate getting groceries. I have to follow the cart and it makes my legs tired.
            “We don’t have to,” Chester says. “If you don’t want ice cream.”
            “Let’s shop!” I say and hop out of the car.
            Chester takes my hand when we walk through the parking lot. The cars zip around like crazy, and they don’t look for little girls like me. But Chester is way, way tall. Taller than the doctor at the hospital, and I think he’s taller than my daddy was, but I don’t really remember.
            When we get into the store, Chester doesn’t let go of my hand like he usually does. I think this is ok. I’m still scared about the doctor looking serious and me maybe dying. Chester says I’m not going to die, and I believe him, but my insides still feel twisty.
            We go to the nice, cold aisle with all the glass doors. Chester says I can pick any kind of ice cream I want. I pick the rainbow kind that’s so pretty. Chester says it tastes like Play-doh. I tell him he’s not supposed to eat Play-doh. That makes him laugh. I love the way his eyes crinkle up when he laughs.
            “Do we need anything else?” asks Chester, lifting the whole gallon of rainbow ice cream for me.
            “Cocoa Puffs?” I say.
            We go to the cereal aisle. I hug the box.
            “I’m coo coo for Cocoa Puffs!” I say, like the bird on TV.
            “You’re coo coo, alright.” Chester smiles.
            We buy the ice cream and cereal. We also get some lifesavers, and a pretty dolly that was hanging on a hook by the counter where you buy things. Chester likes to get me stuff, but we’ve never gone to the store just to get stuff for me before. Usually we get vegetables and batteries and stuff. I wonder if this is because of what the doctor said.
            When we get back in the car, I open up my dolly.
            “I’m going to name her Molly,” I tell Chester. I pick up the little pink brush and brush Molly’s pretty blonde hair. Sometimes I wish I had pretty blonde hair, but Chester says he thinks red hair is the coolest. He says girls with red hair are the most special and they always grow up to be tough. Sometimes I think it would be better to be pretty.

            Brush, brush, brush. I look up at Chester while I do Molly’s hair. He is very focused on driving. His hands grip the wheel very tight.  
            When we get home, I help Chester carry the bag with the cereal. He carries the ice cream. Inside, he scoops me a big bowl, even though we haven’t had dinner yet.
            “You play with your doll, ok?” he says. “I’ll be back in a little while.” He goes to the door.
            I follow him.
            “You will come back, won’t you?”
            He turns around and kneels down in front of me.
            “I promise,” he says. He gives me a big hug. “I will come back. And you will be ok.”
            I hug him tight.
            “Molly’s scared you won’t come back.”
            “You tell Molly that there’s nothing on Earth, or anywhere else, that would keep me away.” Chester kisses my head. He lets me go. “You take care of Molly until I come back, ok?”
            When Chester’s gone, I eat my ice cream. It doesn’t taste like Play-doh, but it doesn’t taste like a rainbow, either. I give some to Molly and she says it’s gross. I put the bowl in the sink and then take Molly upstairs to show her my room.
            There are other dolls on the dresser, some that my mommy and daddy gave me before they didn’t come home. Some of them Chester gave me. There’s also lots of books with fairies in them. I pull one down to show her.
            “Chester says this is important,” I say, tracing the little people with colorful wings. “I don’t know why, though.”
            I tell her some of the stories. One is about fairies that try to make a boy dance with them all the time. And then they place a spell on a girl so she can’t talk and she doesn’t remember where she lives. Chester has read it to me lots of times, and I know almost all the words. The story makes Molly scared, so we put the book away and color pictures of princesses in my coloring book.
            I like Ariel the best, in her pretty pink dress and with her long red hair. Her hair is more red than mine. When I color my hair, I use the Red Orange crayon, but for Ariel I use the Brick Red. Then I color Cinderella, with her pretty yellow hair. Molly and I play a game where she is Cinderella and I am Ariel, and we’re best friends.
            After our game, I go downstairs. Chester isn’t home. I eat some Cocoa Puffs without milk. After that, I go in the living room and turn on The Little Mermaid. I close my eyes during the scary part, when Ariel loses her voice. I don’t see the ending.
            The next thing I know, Chester is shaking my arm. I’m lying in my bed, but I don’t know how I got there.
            “Come on, Ellie.”
            “What’s going on?”
            “Come with me.”
            We go downstairs. The floor is very cold. The living room is dark. Chester stops me right in the middle of the round rug.
            “Now, close your eyes,” he says.
            “How come?”
            “Please, Ellie, just listen to me. You have to close your eyes and keep them shut tight, ok? And no matter what you hear, you just keep them shut. Do you understand?”
            “No. What’s going on?”
            “I understand.” I close my eyes. I want to know what’s going on, but Chester looks just as pale as he did in the doctor’s office. His hand on my arm is shaking real bad. He’s never acted like this before.
            “Alright. Promise me you’ll keep your eyes closed?”
            “I promise. Chester…”
            “I’m scared.”
            “Don’t be. I’m right here. Eyes closed?”
            “Eyes closed.”
            But even though they’re closed, I can still see the light when it comes. It shines gold and creeps in through my eyelids. It must be very bright. I want to look, but I promised, so I keep them shut tight.
            Then the music starts. Like hundreds and hundreds of bells right there in my living room. It’s so pretty. My feet wiggle on the carpet because I want to dance.
            I hear a sound like Chester’s voice, deep and nice. But he isn’t talking words I understand. It’s like he’s singing, the way his voice goes up and down. I’ve never heard Chester sing before. I turn my head to look at him, but then I remember. I cover my eyes with my hands.
            “It’s alright,” says a soft voice in my ear. It’s a very nice lady’s voice. “You can open your eyes.”
            Something thumps on the ground beside me. Part of me feels scared.
            “Chester’s right here,” says the lady, “Look and see him.”
            “Is it ok? Can I look?”
            “Yes,” says the lady, “Of course you can.”
            I want to see the lady with the beautiful voice. I want to see Chester and know that he’s right there. Why doesn’t he say anything? The music is still playing, and I hear a soft pattering on the floor. There are lots of people here, and they’re dancing. The music is so beautiful; their dance must be, too. I want to see it. I put down my hands, but I keep my eyes closed.
            “Chester, tell me it’s alright.”
            “It’s alright, kid,” says Chester’s voice.
            I open my eyes.
            Right beside me is a tall lady. She’s dressed in a long, gold dress that glitters. Behind her are great wings made out of light. They sparkle and shine and make the room glow bright. Her face is smooth. But her eyes are scary. She looks at me with her thin eyebrows raised and a smile on her lips that I don’t like at all. She reaches out a hand with long fingers and clutches my arm too tight.
            “Good girl,” she says, and I wonder how I could have thought her voice was nice. It’s a voice like a crocodile that wants to eat me.
            I look around, and there he is. But he’s on the floor, and there’s cloth in his mouth. He looks at me and his eyes are all crinkled up, but not like he’s smiling. He looks worse than he did when the doctor used that word ‘terminal.’ On either side of him stand two other tall people with golden wings.
            “What’s going on?” I say. My voice is wobbly.
            “You’re going to come with us,” says the tall lady.
            “I don’t want to.”
            “Oh, you’ll love it where we’re going. It’s beautiful. There are fairies and woods filled with flowers, and a sparkling castle. And you, Ellie, will be a princess.”
            I want to be a princess. But my friend is on the floor, maybe hurt, and looking so scared.
            “Let Chester go!”
            “Oh, I’ll let him go.” The woman leans close to whisper in my ear. “Just come with us to Fairyland.”
            I’m so scared. My stomach is twisted in knots and it hurts. I look at Chester and he shakes his head. One of the tall men hits him.
            “Come along, Ellie. You belong to Fairyland now.” The tall lady holds tighter to my arm. Golden light fills my eyes. I can’t see.
            “Chester, I’m sorry!”
            But Chester is gone.


Today's Novel Idea Prompted by: "No matter what you hear, no matter how badly you want to, do NOT open your eyes." Courtesy of WonHundred Word Wednesday


Ginny-Gin-Gin said...

Chester's right; redheads are the best :D Seriously, though, I like the voice. And I'm intrigued! Do you think you'll work on this more? I'd love to read the rest!

The Hot Girl in the Comic Shop said...

I totally thought of you when I wrote the redhead bit, and I was sad that Ellie didn't love her red hair. Hopefully she'll grow to love it XP
I actually was getting new ideas for this story today! I need to work on my current novel, but this one definitely isn't going away. I'd love to write the whole thing.

Ginny-Gin-Gin said...

Haha, I'm sure she will :D

Fun stuff! Sometimes I like to read several books at a time so there's no harm in *writing* several books at a time, right? :D I want to know how it ends regardless!

KelsieT said...

This is amazing. I want to read the whole book! Are you going to work on this some more?

The Hot Girl in the Comic Shop said...

Thank you so much ^_^ I'm actually planning on using this one as my NaNoWriMo novel come November. Hopefully someday it will actually be a novel ^_^